Enough to Keep me Here
by purple.pnut
Summary: AU. Brittany might not be enough for Santana.
1. Can't brake

_Riding down a winding road through the middle of the woods. It's dark out and the road is freshly wet from a cool summer shower. The chill wind scatters the clouds, bringing a sweet smell of pine and rain. She hears music but it's so quiet she can't make out what it is. She speeds up hoping to find the source of the music, when she sees a dim blue light from an opening in the trees that create an arch above the road. She rides through the last set of trees and finds herself in an empty boulevard. She looks back to find no trees or winding road. She can hear the soft music getting closer. She looks forwards and gets hypnotized by the view. The boulevard heads slightly down hill ending at busy street along the edge of the river. She can see silhouette of the city across the river. The sky is the most beautiful shades of blue. She lets the wind blow through her hair and takes a deep breath. Enjoying the beautiful dawn and letting the music take over. She can see the traffic light is red where the boulevard meets the busy street. She puts her hand on the brake to stop but she doesn't slow down. She squeezes the brake harder but it doesn't work. She panics knowing she it about to ride through the light. The music gets louder almost unbearable, she looks to her left at headlights enclosing on her and shuts her eyes_

She opens her eyes to the unbearable music. She reaches under the pillow, pulling her phone out. Slides her thumb across the screen to answer, not bothering looking at who is calling knowing it could only be one person

"Wha u wan Q?" she says not able to completely form words, closing her eyes wanting to fall back asleep

"Santana, are you still sleeping?"

"No anymo" she answers with a bitter tone

"You are going to be late! I've called you four times already" she can hear Quinn messing around with papers "You have to be at the photo shoot in twenty minutes. Get your ass up"

"Fuck!" She snaps her eyes open, jumping out of bed "I'm up" throwing her phone on the bed

Santana grabs the first items of clothes that come to her hand putting them on without looking, not caring what she looks like. She is not the one that is going to be in front of the camera. Running out of the room she grabs her phone. When she gets to the door, there are her workbags with her keys on top, and smiles knowing she would have forgotten them if they weren't by the door.

"Thanks Q" she says to herself grabbing the bags and running through the door and down the stairs.

Santana gets outside, waves down a taxicab. She would normally take the subway but there is no time. Photographers don't like to be kept waiting. Then again, who does?

Siting in the cab she finally looks down at herself to see what clothes she put on. Black skinny jeans with a ripped knee, a gray and yellow plaid button up, that she didn't bother to button over a black tank top. She doesn't care. She just wants to get this over with and get paid. She puts her hair up in a messing bun, realizing she doesn't have make up on. When she reaches for her bag, the cab stops in front of the studio, so much for that idea.

Santana walks in with two minutes to spare. She walks through the studio and sees the photographer set up. Walking to the back room to the makeup station where the model waits her reading a magazine. She puts her bags down and starts getting her things organized.

When Santana is done beautifying the model, she decides to get herself some coffee, while she waits for the next series of photos. She makes her way to the back of the studio through tall black curtains, separating the photo shoot from the snack area. A long table is covered with everything from bagels to chocolate covered fruit. Not bothering with food, she walks straight to the coffee pouring herself a large cup. When the coffee reaches her lips, she closes her eyes and rests against the wall, letting herself relax. She opens her eyes and stares off thinking about the dream she was waken from. Why wasn't she able to break? Letting her mind run wild with questions, she doesn't see someone walk in.

Noticing something move from the corner of her eye, Santana looks over to a tall blonde woman at the food table. She lets her eyes roam the blonde starting with her, high top black and pink Nikes, moving up at her white skinny jeans. Santana's eyes stop at the other woman's ass. The blonde moves and Santana shakes her head, not knowing how long she had been staring. She looks up and instantly gets mesmerized by the piercing blue eyes looking back at her. She sees the blonde's lips move but can't make out what they say.

"Huh?" Santana asks, snapping out of her daze

"Are you okay?" the blonde asks with a small smile

"Yeah" Santana clears her throat "Why?"

"When I came in you were staring off, spacing out. Then I look over and you were mumbling something I couldn't understand, it sounded like another language"

"I just…" She looks at the cup in her hands. She hopes she didn't get caught staring or mumbled anything about the other woman's ass. "I need more coffee" with that Santana walks to the end of the table to get more coffee.

Santana looks over her shoulder and sees the blonde stare at her with an amused smile. Should she go talk to her? She did get caught looking at her. Before she can decide what to do next a shorter man walks in and calls the blonde's name. 'Brittany' walks out and Santana if left standing in the middle of the break room alone. She gets herself together and walks out. When she walks out she see Brittany standing behind the computers with the shorter man. She walks over to the make-up tables getting her things ready for the next look.

Santana walks outside reaching for a pack of cigarettes in her pocket. Seven hours of doing make-up and waiting around, smoking was all she could think about. She puts a cigarette to her lips and lights it. Leaning up against the building she looks up, the sun is setting.

" What to do tonight?" she asks herself taking a drag

She hasn't really hung out with anyone lately. She's been avoiding everyone, including her own roommate. She can't bring herself to be interested in anything lately and everyone just annoys hers. Always asking questions and wondering how things are going, she doesn't want to hear about people's problem why should they want to hear hers?

She starts thinking that maybe she's being a bad friend? Just because she's lost and angry all the time, doesn't mean she should take it out on people who she calls her friends. Taking a long drag she pulls out her phone and starts texting her friend Puck. They used to go out drinking all the time, until he started dating her roommate Quinn and now she feels like the third wheel all the time. "Maybe it won't be that bad?" she tries to reinsure her decision, while pressing send.

"_Hey you're alive!"_ Puck teases

" Of course I'm a live, why wouldn't I be?" she starts to regret her decision "Anyways what are you doing tonight?"

"_Well I was suppose to see Quinn, but she's running late handing in some last minute grades or something like that."_ He paused for a bit letting out a loud sigh sounding more like a grunt _"Didn't really listen to what she said. I was too busy kicking these bitches asses when she called." _

"So you were playing video games" not really a question, since she knew it was true. Maybe he'll just want to keep playing all night and she wouldn't have to see him after all.

"_You want to go get a drink?"_ he asks.

Wishful thinking.

"Yeah, if you want" she puts her cigarette out and starts walking to the subway

"_Sweet! I'll meet you at the apartment?" _

"Sure. See you there" she hangs up

Santana snaps her eyes open not being able to breathe, to find Puck with a cheesy grin on his face and his fingers pinching her nose. She smacks his hand, sitting up on the couch.

"You sound like a walrus when you snore" Puck a takes a step back

"Screw you. I do not snore" she wipes her chin with the back of her hand hoping there was no drool "Besides do you even know what a walrus sounds like?"

"Why are you sleeping? I thought we were suppose to get a drink." He walks to the kitchen opening the refrigerator

"I was waiting for you, but you took so god damn long I got bored and passed out" she gets up to join him in the kitchen.

She leans up against the counter, looking down at herself. She hasn't even changed clothes. She got home left her bags by the door and threw herself on the couch, hoping Puck wouldn't come. Puck closes the fridge not finding anything appealing. Looking at her, he smiles before saying

"I missed you"

Really? She thought. Feeling like a worse friend than she originally had. She looks at the ground, fiddling with hem of her shirt.

"Missed you too" she lies

Maybe it wasn't a lie. They did always have an amazing time going out. He was always there for her and gave her great advice. When she had a problem, he would always rush her, no matter what time of the day or where she was. Even when he first started dating Quinn, they would all hang out and have fun. What happened?

"I don't want to go anywhere crowded or where I might see people I know." she states, not letting the 'I miss you' run through her head too long.

"Well I always pass by this little tavern on the way here. It looks kind of small but it's never crowded."

Puck walks to the door and grabs her keys off the small stand. Santana nods following close behind. She smiles. It'll be just like old times, just her and Puck. They walk down the stairs, when they reach the outside door he opens it letting her go first. As she passes him, he hands her the keys before mumbling.

"Quinn's meeting us there."


	2. Curb Smoke

Sitting at the bar, Santana looks down at her beer that she only took a sip of. Being drunk lately hasn't turned out well. She always ends up crying making a fool of herself. She misses the time when she would just get really happy and flirt with girls. She would get any girl she set her eyes on, when a girl would play hard to get she would get excited. Challenges were always more fun, not that there was much of a challenge. Now when girls would look at her, she would leave the room. Not wanting anything to with them, even if they were hot.

The bar was a bit small it only had six stools around the counter and a couple of high table with stools. At one side there was a pool table and a dartboard on the wall. Santana looks over to the pool table and saw two guys playing pool. She turns to look at Puck, who has his back to the counter facing the door.

"What time did she say she was coming?" she asks taking another sip

"She didn't say an exact time. She just said she wou-" Puck's stands up and she doesn't have to turn around to know that Quinn has walked in.

"Hey!" Quinn said before kissing Puck and patting Santana's shoulder

Quinn sits down between Santana and Puck ordering a coke. She wraps her arms around Puck's leaning her head on his shoulder, and start whispering to each other. Santana rolls her eyes and looks at her beer. She hasn't taking another sip yet. Maybe she should just go home now that Puck has company. Or maybe she should just skip the beer and start chugging whiskey. She looks around the bar trying to find something, anything that would distract her from giggles coming from Puck and Quinn. Santana hears loud laughter from the pool table. Looking over her shoulder she sees the same two guys playing pool. Leaning against the back wall is the blonde from the photo shoot. Brittany. Santana remembers her name, but when a girl looks likes Brittany does you can't help in not remembering everything about them. When did she come get here? Has she been here this whole time?

Santana feels Quinn's elbow nudge her arm, forcing her head to face the couple. Quinn takes a sip of her drink before asking.

"How was the photo shoot?"

"It was alright. Nothing special as always." Santana shrugs

"What made you actually come out tonight?" Quinn asks

"She missed Puckasaurus and his beautiful face" Puck says before she could answer

"Yup that's exactly it." She says sarcastically, not bothering to explain her reasons

Why did she actually call Puck? Besides feeling like a bad friend. She has ignored everyone for some time now, one more night wouldn't make a difference. Whatever she's here now and she'll just have to suck it up. She turns to face the pool table and sees Brittany leaning over the table talking to a shorter guy with glasses. The blonde pushes off the table and heads towards the counter.

Santana quickly looks up avoiding the blonde walking towards her, pretending to be examining the bottles on the shelves. Why is Brittany walking towards her? Is she going to talk to her? Does she even remember her? She can see the Brittany lean over the counter flagging down the bartender. Of course she's getting drinks. Santana felt silly thinking the other woman actually walked over to talk to her. The bartender walks away to prepare the drinks and she still doesn't look over hoping not to be noticed. Or maybe she did want to be noticed. No.

"Hey!"

Santana turns her face. Brittany is looking down at her with a dorky smile. She was surprised the blonde remembered her; even more surprised she was actually talking to her. Santana had made an idiot of herself by running away from Brittany earlier, when she asked her a simple question.

"Hi"

"So, how was the coffee?" Brittany asks

Santana bit her lip, looking down. Her cheeks felt warm with embarrassment. "It was good. I was having an off morning" 'More like an off year' she thought not saying it aloud.

"I hope it helped" Brittany paused "You did a really good job with the make up. If that's your work on an off day then you must be even more amazing on a on day"

If Santana's cheeks were warm before then now they were on fire. She never thought she was amazing. She knew she was good and it came easy to her. She needed to make money not feeling like looking for a job as a waitress or Go Go Dancer, which she had actually gotten an offer of it once. Her friend Mercedes asked her to help at a small photo shoot for the magazine Mercedes was interning. Santana went to just kill some time and stare at the models. When she got there Mercedes made her assist the make up artist. Santana thought the make up did a terrible job and knew she could do better. Since then she's been doing make up where ever she can find a job. Nothing permanent, she doesn't want to commit.

Before Santana says anything back, the bartender came back. Brittany smiled, grabbing three shots, a saltshaker and three limes. She looks over to Santana.

"Well I hope tomorrow morning will be better" She winks and turns towards her friends

"Thanks" Santana whispers only she could hear. Her eyes follow Brittany making her way to pool table.

"Who's that?" Quinn asks

Santana turns to look at Quinn, who has a curious expression and Puck chugging his beer. "Oh, just a girl from the photo shoot." She looks back to Brittany who is cheering her shot with the two guys.

"Was she one of the models?" Puck slams the now empty bottle on the counter "'Cuz she looks like one, a really hot one."

Quinn smacks his arm and shaker her head. Santana looks at her beer not wanting to reply to his comment. She is not going to finish it. Sliding it over for Puck to finish it, she stands up. "I'll be back" She walks out of the bar happy to get some time alone.

She sits on the curb and pulls out her pack. She takes out a cigarette and places the pack on the floor next to her. She looks around. It was quiet, it was the middle of the week so not many people out at this hour. She lights the cigarette.

"I really need to quit." She tells herself with smoke leaving her lips

"Spacing out a lot and talking to yourself is not very healthy" a voice says "You know people might think your crazy."

Santana looks back looking at Brittany smiling down at her. Is this girl always smiling? Brittany walks over and sits down next to her.

"Are you sure you should be talking to me? I might spread the crazy to you" Santana joked

"I talk to myself too, no big deal. I have conversations with my cat a lot. Though he never has much to say. Is it a conversation is only person is doing the talking?" Brittany frowns

Santana smiles thinking the over share is cute.

"Brittany S. Pierce. I just realized we talked like three times and I haven't introduced myself" Brittany stretches out her hand

"Santana Lopez" she shakes Brittany's hand.

They let their hands stay together for a bit longer then normal. Santana thinks Brittany's hands were the softest hands she has ever felt. So far Brittany had the bluest eyes and the softest hands. A car drives by, making them let go.

"So are you and your friends celebrating anything?" she nodded towards the bar

"Kind of, my friend Artie has been working on this huge project for his master's degree all semester and he finally finished. My friend Mike and I decided that he deserved alcohol for all his hard work."

"Well congratulations to your friend Artie. He's lucky to have friends who know that after hard work comes alcohol."

Brittany nods and hugs her legs, resting her head on her knees. "What about you? The people your with seem to really be into each other."

Santana is about to answer when she hears the door behind them open. She turns to see Puck stumble out leaning his weight on Quinn.

"See I tol'u she here" Puck mumbles

"I thought you had left." Quinn says

Santana gets up and walks towards the couple. "Nope I'm still here, though I don't think Puck really is." She taps his shoulder causing his knees to give. Quinn helps him up, and he nuzzles his face in her neck. Puck starts nibbling Quinn's neck and she smacks the back of his head.

"Well I'm going to grab a cab and take Puck home. I want to make sure he gets home safely and won't do anything stupid. Are you ok to get home?" Quinn looks over to Brittany, who was still sitting on the curb. "Or I can just bring him to the apartment."

"No no. Just go to his place. I don't want to have to fall asleep with my head phones." She looks at Puck, who is crossing his eyes trying to see his own nose. "I'm okay to get home."

"Oh shut up. My room is all the way on the other side of the apartment. When have you ever heard anything?" Quinn shakes her head "Just call me if you need anything."

Santana nods and watches the couple walk to the corner to hail a cab. She really doesn't care if they went back to the apartment. She isn't planning being on being home tonight. She had made up her mind on her way to the bar. She already has other plans, probably another reason why she didn't drink tonight. She turns around and sees Brittany stand up and step towards her.

"Sorry about that."

"You can come in and hang out for a bit. My friends might be royally wasted by now. They love shots." Brittany walks closer to Santana

"No, it's ok I don't want to crash your celebration. I think I've kept you from them long enough." She takes her phone out of her pocket checking the time "Besides it's kind of late, I should head home."

"Ok but you don't know what you're missing." Brittany smiles. She looks at her hands "Oh you left this on the ground." Handing Santana her pack

"Thanks. And thank you for keeping me company out here. I enjoyed talking to you." She realizes she was getting a bit nervous

"Me too. Maybe we'll get to do it again"

Santana isn't sure how to say bye. Should she just walk away? Maybe a handshake but that would be weird. She just met this girl today, why does it matter? Why is she even worrying about this. This is ridiculous. Wait, do what again? Talk? Should she ask for her number? Before she can come to a conclusion Brittany leaned towards her and places a soft kiss on her cheek. Brittany winks and walks bar in the bar.


	3. Texting

A/N: I'm on vacation and I haven't had much time to write. I have a good chunk of the story written by hand. I know what is going to happen, i just have a hard time typing it up because i get stuck with the wording and stuff. Anyways let me know what you think so far.

I apologize for spelling and grammar mistakes.

* * *

Santana steps inside the empty apartment, making her way to her room. Dropping her keys on the nightstand and falling on the bed, she lets her eyes close for a second. After leaving the bar she decided to just walk home. It was only ten blocks but she took a longer way making it a forty-block walk. She hoped the long walk would help her fall asleep when she got home. Laying in bed her body is sore and tired but her mind is running a mile a minute. She opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling. All she can think about is those damn blue eyes. If Brittany wanted to see her again she would have asked for her number. Santana looks at the alarm clock, it's 2:30 am.

"Ugh! This is bull crap" she walks to her closet and gets out her Dr Marten boots. "Why I am even thinking about? I don't need a girl. I don't need anyone right now"

She finishes tying the laces and grabs her leather jacket off the back of her desk chair. Stuffing her phone and keys in her pocket she walks outside. She opens her pack and takes out a cigarette and a lighter. After lighting it, she puts the lighter back in the pack. Closing the pack she notices black bold writing, over the packs original gold print. It's a series of ten digits. A phone number. She wonders for a split second who's it could be before the corner of her lips curl up into a smile.

"Brittany" she whispers

She puts the pack in her jacket pocket, zippering it closed so nothing will fall out. If her mind was running a mile before, now she actually has a headache from thinking too much. When should she call? Should she even call? Does she really need anyone new in her life? Would Brittany want to be in her life? What if she had thrown out the pack without seeing the number? She shakes her head to make her mind stop. Looking up she sees an old wear house. She doesn't even remember her walk. She walks down a dim lit alley to the back of the wear house. Turning the corner she gets her keys out. She opens a garage door and turns the lights on. Grabbing gloves out of the helmet, she sits on her motorcycle. Puts on the helmet and gloves and starts it. She rides out of the garage when she remembers she has to close the door.

"I really need to get an automatic door." She says while getting up to close it "And I really need to stop talking to myself."

Santana rides out of the alley. Reaching the street, she speeds down towards the tunnel and out of the city.

Riding is the only thing that makes her feel sane. She can ride her motorcycle for hours. She only used to go when it was nice out or if there was something on her mind. But since she can't sleep at night any more and doesn't want to be around anyone, she finds herself going on rides every night. Riding around the city when she has to get up early and doesn't want to go too far. But most of the times she leaves the city and makes her way upstate or into a near by state. Which almost always was the closest one, New Jersey.

Santana's abuelo, Armando, had bought the motorcycle for her father Julio for being the first Lopez to graduate high school. It was a 1974 Honda CB750, nothing too fancy but Armando had pick up extra shifts to pay for it. Julio only rode it for that summer. In the fall he went to college and only came back for a week for Christmas. Around that time it was too cold to ride and he stayed at school during the summer. Armando kept it in his garage for years. When Santana was little she would sneak into the garage and stare at it. She thought it was the coolest thing ever. The motorcycle was rusty and covered in dust. The red paint was barely recognizable and the tires flat, melting to the floor. When abuelo Armando was around she would ask him to sit her on it. She didn't care about the spider webs on the handles or how dirty it was, she just wanted to ride it some day, for real.

On her eighteenth birthday she woke up with a loud rumbling outside her window. She didn't even bother getting dressed; she sprinted outside to find her abuelo sitting on a shiny red motorcycle. Armando restored the whole thing himself, from a new engine to a fresh paint job. Julio didn't want her to have it. He said it was an accident waiting to happen. After a long argument between Armando and Julio, Julio gave in saying if something happened he would hold Armando responsible.

* * *

Santana opens her eyes reaching for her phone to check the time, 4:30 pm. Not bad since she got home at six in morning and couldn't fall asleep until nine. She laid in bed for those three hours staring at Brittany's number on her pack of cigarettes. She swings her legs out of bed and grabs her phone and her pack. Opening the window and sitting on the ledge. Quinn's number one house rule is no smoking in the apartment but what she doesn't know, won't kill her. Besides she is practically hanging outside the building onto the fire escape so it doesn't count. She types in Brittany's number into her phone, having it memorized by now, when doubt fills her mind.

"Just do it already" She yells at herself

She almost presses send but then she remembers that it is a weekday, maybe Brittany's working. So she decides a text is better.

-_Hey not sure if you remember me. It's Santana we talked at the bar last night._

"Great text Santana. Way to go!" she closes her eyes shakes her head

Her phone buzzes a few seconds later.

B-_Hey! Of course I remember you. I thought you were going to throw out the pack and not even notice my number. _

Santana smiled, feeling better about herself.

-_ Defiantly noticed it. How are you?_

"Of course you noticed it. She knows that. You texted her dumbass" so much for feeling better about herself

B-_I'm good. I'm on vacation so I'm just trying to relax. How are you?_

-_I'm good…_

Santana typed before realizing she doesn't know what to say next. She can either send another embarrassing text talking about a nothing. Or she can just cut the conversation short and just do it already.

…_are you doing anything tonight?_

"Well that doesn't sound desperate at all."

B-_I was thinking about going for a walk and maybe take some pictures. It's been really nice out._

_ -Would you like some company? I mean if you want. But if not that's cool too._

She didn't even have time to beat herself up for that last text when her phone buzzed

B_-I would love company :)_

B-_Want to meet by Chelsea Piers at 8?_

-_Yeah sound good. I'll see you there_

Santana takes a deep breathe and feels relieved. She survived and she has a date tonight. Well maybe it's not a date, just a person meeting up with another person to go on a walk. What is it that? Doesn't matter she's going to see Brittany tonight that's all that matters. Crap!

"I need to do laundry!"


End file.
